I Love You, David

So basically the first month of school has been really hectic for me. I've been trying to make the most of my opportunities despite all the problems I continuously face. And I no longer have a dollar to my name. I am barely living check by check. I am still waiting on financial aid to get my signature paper for the 3rd time so that my tuition can get paid. I also have been trying to hide the fact that since David went to Nigeria, I feel different about my family situation. I felt that David kept my family together and now it is falling apart more than ever. Right now, I am currently fasting in order to bring myself spiritually closer to God. I feel I need a lot of direction, answers, and support. I really miss you David!

September Goals

• Work for OMGee as Advertising Intern
  
• Work on POP!!! (♥)
  
• Get a Good Camera
  
• Learn New Songs on My Guitar
• Move into Pace Dorm
  
• Maintain Healthy Hair
• At Least One More Summer Concert!
  
• Fashion's Night Out Sept 10th
• Change Work Hours
• Save Money!!

August was a hectic month a lot of ups and downs, well mostly downs. September, I've been waiting all summer for this month and now it's here. All I constantly did in August was running errands, working, or setting things up for the fall. I applied to a couple of internships for the fallwinter. I got two interviews hoping for two internships to chose from lol. However, now I'm an official advertising intern for OMGee magazine. I am excited for this coming month and the rest of this semester. I went dorm shopping yesterday at walmart. I got dishes, pots and pans, a towel set, and a lot more cooking stuff. I still have some think to get on my check list in the next 3 days. I know I have a hell of alot work set out for me but I also know I can accomplish it. I made it a priority to surround myself with positive, influential, and resourceful people. The POP TV eboard is already amazingly dedicated and ready to take on anything and anyone. I am way too excited, you probably couldn't tell I am really heartbroken. I'm taking my focus off of love and relationships and focusing on success and friendships.

Losing Hope

I am not only losing hope in love, I am losing hope in myself. I need help quick. I'm giving him a world of chances and I end up worst each time. Maybe I was meant to be alone. I just feel so hurt and lost and alone.

Parties In The U.S.A.

So lately I've been applying to a lot of internship and it got me thinking of where I want to intern and work at next year. I have officially decided that I want a job that will allow me to go on entire warped tour. Either as a merch girl or a more official job like a photographer. I guess I would need a camera first. In dedication to great concerts I decided to make a list of people I have seen and want to see.


Seen & Loved:
Miley Cyrus, Metro Station, All Time Low, The Cab, Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, Never Shout Never, Cash Cash, Tyga, Asher Roth, Chester French, Katy Perry, Flyleaf, White Tie Affair, The Summer Set, Eye Alaska, The Cool Kids, Lykke Li, Friday Night Boys, Day 26, The Veronicas, Boys Like Girls, Hey Monday

Want/Need To See:
Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, 30h!3, Fefe Dobson, Cobra Starship, Lily Allen, Linkin Park, N.E.R.D., MGMT, Paramore, Sing It Loud, Tiny Masters of Today, Rihanna, Shakira, Silversun Pickups, The Hush Sound, Valencia, Yelle, Tourtered Soul, The Tings Tings, The Sercet Handshake, The Maine


Right now I am really excited to move back to Pace. I wish I could move in earlier! I am practically packed. The other day I went shopping with my bestfriend and her mom at Walmart. We went crazy over Miley's new clothes and got almost everything. It was an awesome day! Next event for us coming up is six flags on the 28th to see All Time Low! I've seen them perform before at the MTVu Woodies and they were great! Also, I am very ecstatic for POP TV, Pace Press, and whatever internship I obtain. Wish me luck! Currently addicted to and blasting Miley's song Party In The USA.

August Goals

• Finish Portfolio
  
• Work on more for POP!!! (i'm addicted!)
  
• Get a Camera
  
• Learn New Songs on My Guitar
  
• Pack for School (YAY!)
• Get Grandma B-Day Gift
• Healthy Hair
• At Least One More Summer Concert
  
• Apply for More Fall 2009 Internships

Last month was extremely productive and fun(thanks to Kaitlynn, Lisa and Jeanette). POP now has an active blog (http://poptv36.wordpress.com) and it's first commercial (from Do Something.Org). Right now I am designing my digital portfolio and working on some new pieces I just finished a vector drawing of myself and I am now working on one of Chelsea.

Faux Photoshoots & Shiesty Concerts

The last two days off work have been super fun compared to the rest of my summer. For the first time this summer I got to do things that were strictly fun-based, and not work or business orientated. On Tuesday Lisa, my best-friend, Meka, her awesome cousin, and I went to MTV's show It's On With Alexa Chung(again). The special guests was Kelly Osbourne and the episode was really funny. Alexa said my outfit was really cute, so that partly made my day. After that we walked around store browsing for a while then went back to staten island to take photos. We took a lot of photos in Snug Harbor which I just discovered is a beautiful landscape. We took a bunch of photos that really came out cute. The next day Lisa, Jeanette, and I went to a concert at the Highline Ballroom. We were super excited to see The Cab but kinda sad when we knew Ian wasn't going to be there. However, despite the missing guitar player, stupid girls, and the heat, we had an amazing time. Not only did we get to cut the 3 block long line, we were really close to the stage and we got to meet almost all the bands after the show. I was sore when I got home, but happy. Now I am really excited for this Sunday & Tuesday coming up. On Sunday my friend Tracey is having a beach party. (I've been begging for someone to have one) And on Tuesday Lisa, her friend Corey, and I are going to Six Flags to see NeverShoutNever and The Academy Is. This summer is looking up already.

I'm Getting Addicted to Polyvore.com

I'll Forever Be 21 by cupcakeriot featuring Forever21

I was at the TOP of my class by cupcakeriot on Polyvore.com

Egoistic Photographer by cupcakeriot featuring Forever21

Mid-Year Assessment

Looking back on my post "Everyone Makes Pointless New Years Resolutions, Time For A Change", I see the change I promised myself coming to light. I have stayed focused on maximizing my monthly achievements and became more self-conscious of my time. I have also become more resourceful. All of this gives me hope for the rest of the year. I am looking forward to new and bigger achievements. I plan to develop more.

July Goals

• Increase Blog Content Quality(I feel like I slacked lately)
  
• Work on more for POP!!! (T-shirts, Website & More)
  
• Concert Fun! (The Cab &Warped Tour)
  
• Network for POP
• Organize Design Portfolio(Halfway Done!)
  
• Get Better Camera & Start Photography Portfolio
• Set Date for Pool Party
• Learn New Songs on My Guitar
  
• Apply for Fall 2009 Internships

So this whole month has been POP-mania! From organizing things for September to recruiting at orientation. It wasn't the greatest month but POP has made it better. We have all new accomplishments this month: a completed and signed proposal, ready to print business cards, new email (poptv@pace.edu thanks Jeff!), over 100 fans on our facebook page, ready to be edited footage from Andre, a list of eager new freshmen, deals ready to made with other school's organization, and a growing contact list. I feel so excited and proud. I am very glad that we(Kaitlynn, Ivonna and I) took a chance on this idea that was generated by my simple interest during my first semester of freshman year. Well enough about POP I need to relax sometimes I'm a little too excited lol.

So another random thing that occurred this month was getting to finally see my favorite band Chester French perform(and for free too!) at the south street seaport. It was awesome and funny because during sound check a member of the crowd got upset about the lyrics of the song and argued with the stage manager, i couldn't stop laughing. I also got a free issue of PAPER Magazine ♥ (haven't read a lot of magazines lately because I've been broke but PAPER is one of my favorites!). It was a great day! Also in this past month I got go with my friends to MTV's new show, It's On With Alexa Chung! We served as audience members the day my favorite Demi Lovato(I know it sounds like everyone is my favorite but I really love Demi Lovato) visited the show. She was amazingly beautiful and I felt that although her interview seemed shy away from parts of her life, she was still genuine. I hope to see her in concert again one day and hopefully meet her and talk to her about her influence on me. All Demi Lovato lovers be sure to watch Princess Protection Program and get her new sure-to-be-awesome album!

Other things I am looking forward to is my favorite aunt and cousin from Canada are coming to spend the whole month at my house!!!! They always make my summer better and sometimes my aunt seems to be the only one to understand me. She does everything in her power to keep me happy and level-headed. Last summer she let Lisa and I stay with her despite barely being able to accommodate us, however she still did it because she knew I needed to get away from home. I appreciate all her efforts in my life and I am glad to have such a great aunt.

For some strange unexplainable reason I feel the need to discuss my recently added on my iTunes. This one is pretty long, about 30 songs! I downloaded the Nylon 2009 Summer Playlist. It was free and got me listening to new songs I would have probably never downloaded. I am really becoming a fan of the Tiny Masters of Today and La Roux. Also on my recently added list is Demi Lovato's new single "Here we Go Again" and Kid Cudi's "I Poke Her Face" (on repeat lol). Right now I'm in the process of downloading more playlists from Urban Outfitters' website. Free Music is fun!

I expect way too much

I thought you out of all people would understand me. I thought that you would see what I meant, but instead you didn't. Its like I never knew you. I guess it's all done now. I had so much to tell you but how could you understand me if you misjudged the simplest thing. I continually give you my all and I am rejected. I thought wrong about everything.

Just A Little Bit

Summer has just began and now I have the most annoying crush on a guy who won't give the time of day. I feel even more self-conscious now than ever. I just want to get over this crush but i can't help but smile when he comes around. I wish he noticed me. I hate this. Feeling really really unpretty. I'm lossing confiedence fast. I need to shift my focus and stop waiting on things that will never happen. Can't wait for school to start, I need a distraction.

Sunday Style Closet!

I search youtube and find

When i'm bored I aimlessly search youtube for musicians, mostly undiscovered or up and coming. I find that they have such a uniqueness and pureness in their sound. Today, I watched a video of one my favorite and decided to blog about her. Her name is Hannah Combs. She is a talented young lady with a beautiful voice. When i first heard her she was in a group called curfew countdown, I guess they split but she is still great on her own. Her songs well-written and her covers are amazing. I just want people to check her out. I wish her good luck and hopefully all her dreams come true! Her YouTube Page

Sunday Style Closet

Decided to bring this back from my old site xquisite design. I'll post new ones every week. So, if you have any request leave the photo link in the form of a comment.

Ellie & Carl & Russell

I watched UP today after work today and I fell in love with the Disney Pixar mix. The movie was an amazing story with great graphics everything down to the background music was perfect. I laughed, I cried, it envoked all emotions. I don't want to explain much about the movie because I believe that everyone should see it for themselves. But I just want to say that I am proud of Disney & Pixar, this is a movie for the history books. Favorite quotes: "I like you temporarily!" "Won't you please be my prisoner, please please please" & "Adventure is out there!"

I found this very interesting

What's 'In' and 'Out' on the Job Hunt - Careers Articles

Shared via AddThis

This isn't one of those i LOVE taylor swift twitter length updates

It's much more! When I first heard Taylor Swift it was about 2 or 3 years ago, the song was Our Song. I was instantly more than interested. I would frequently check youtube & the CMT channel because back then MTV didn't play her songs. I think she started getting popular when Teardrops On My Guitar was released. Just about every preteen and teenage girl knew every beat to that song. I hear a lot of people talk negative about her but I feel most of that stems from jealousy, hate, and lack of facts. Many naive Jonas fans believe she was too immature about the siuation with Joe Jonas. I just see her a girl who got her heart broken. I've seen girls lash out worse towards exes. Also I still don't believe the public had enough information about their relationship to jugde it. Other people who hate her believe that she isn't a "true country" star. Just because she doesn't stick to standards, doesn't mean she doesn't make the cut. I believe she is one of the most talented artist of our generation. She is also amazingly naturally beautiful. She is a contagious and lovable character. She has also managed to not let her success overwhelm her. I look to her as inspiration. She embodies the true meaning of being the best "you that you could be". I had big dreams of seeing her on tour this summer but tickets for her Madison Square Garden show sold out in a record minutes and a half. My friend Kaitlynn has the same infatuation with Taylor Swift as I do. Kaitlynn is determined to become BFFLS with Taylor Swift. I think that would be awesome. I sometimes envy her relationship with her mother. I think it beautiful. I know I will never be that close to my mother but it gives me hope of being a good mother myself one day. I want to have the same type of closeness with my own children. I do honestly believe that Taylor Swift may be my favorite artist of all time. I think both of her albums were extremely beautiful. And I await more from her.

When Will I Be Okay?

Laying in my bed, trying to fall asleep. I have work really early tomorrow and all I can do is cry. I dont want to cry. I don't want to be that damaged girl. But what can I do when the only person who can stop my tears is the cause of my pain? Why did I let myself ever fall in love. I feel like I'll never be the same. Someone please tell me, when will I be okay?

June Goals!!!

• Increase Blog Content Quality
• Work on Video Samples & Website for POP!!!!
• Edit Summer Concert List
  
• Network for POP
• Attend at Least One June Orientation to Recruit for POP
• Organize Design Portfolio
• Get New Camera
  
• Start Photography Portfolio
• More Show Ideas for POP (including cartoon idea)

So May was a bittersweet month, mostly bitter. I lost or damaged a lot of my life. My car is damaged and so is my heart. I lost almost $1,000(long story). I lost the love of my life, forever. I learned things I never wanted to know about him. Now I could never see him the same way. Sometimes I wish I could forget all the pain and be with him again. But our relationship lost trust and without that we could not function. I can't lie, I miss him a lot. I hope sometime soon I can be alright. For now I'm just shifting my focus and ignoring my pain.

Street Lights & Moments

Yesterday was David's birthday. I LOVE him to death so I threw him a birthday party at chuck e. cheese. He don't really got other toddler friends cause he only talk to grownups so it was only a few of us. It was still fun. They revamped chuck e. cheese it was bigger and had better games. I get jackpot every time we played. On the way back BOOM! Some stupid driver tried to make a quick turn at the expense of the safety of me and all my passengers. We crashed and my day was ruined. My car is now damaged and I am car-less to Lord know when. All of this was cause over the 30 seconds he could have waited before he turned. I can't wiat ot read the report he gave to the police. The fact that my air bags didn't deploy and I had the right-a-way proves that i was driving the speed limit and that I was RIGHT!!!! I wish this never happened. After that I went to the hospital to check out my headache that occurs when I hit head during the crash. Despite the fact the ambulance took two hours to get me, that was not the worst part of the night. I waited in the hospital waiting room for 4.5 hours before I was seen by a doctor. I had to get a CAT scan and wait another 2 hours for the results. I got home at 5:30 am with the a prescription for my mucsles because my body went into shock. I went to get my precription filled today and the pharmacy was closed when I came back to pick it up. Now I'm sitting in bed in pain, without a car, work tomorrow, and lots heartache. I need to get away from this destructive island. I miss my dorm so bad.