Weird

It's hard for me sometimes when I get stuck in uncomfortable situations. I often let them roll over and let go of any feelings I have towards them. Yet, today I can't seem to do that. Although I am not really secret about my sexuality, many people assume what they want to. I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I still feel offended when people bash my sexuality right in front of me. Then I feel disappointed in myself for not speaking up. I guess part of it is my fault for lack of courage. Yet, it is hard to fight a battle with another when I still struggle with the same battle within myself. I don't know what to do. There is really no one for me to talk about this. I want to express myself openly but I always feel limited. I think all sexualities are beautiful. I never discriminate.

Song Mood: All The Things She Said - t.A.T.u

As Hope Grows

If Martin Luther King Jr was around for this event, pride would overflow in his heart. As a nation progress can be seen vividly through not only one man but what that one man symbolizes, the growing hope for our nation.

Disappointment

This feeling is so annoying: the feeling of trying and failing. I am defeated, for now.

Vampires = Sex and other problems

I have a slight obsession of vampire related stories, movies and television shows since I can remember. I often recall times in my childhood when I wished to be one really bad. I cannot remember what triggered my affection for them but it hasn't left me since. And with all of this, I have still managed not to read or watch twilight. I think it might put me over the edge, lol. I know this is a random post but it was what was on my mind right now.

In other news, as far as my goals go for the year. I am blogging more often. I am trying my hardest to obtain a job. I am also eating healthy and less often than before. The poem is still unstarted but not forgotten. And my RA application is great progress. I started the form, revised my resume, and got to letters of recommendation(one more needed).

This "vacation" was a miserable waste of free time. I babysat my very active but adorable david everyday from 8am till 8pm bearly any breaks. I know I enjoyed getting to see him since I rearly get the chance, however, I disliked the fact that my parent abandon me and left me responsible for almost everything. This was the difinitely the coldest winter ever. Christmas was also a waste. I tried to be in the spirit of giving instead of reciving but all got was complaint and only on thank you. I spent all my hard earned no sleep having final stressing money. But I learned my lesson I think. I grew up with this family yet somehow I always manage to be the only one burned by them. I should have learned my lesson before now.

However, I'm leaving this miresable island on friday. YAY! Saturday will be full of jobhunting and schedule planning. I'm spending the weekened with my awesome new friend Kaitlynn. We are going to work on our RA application and try and find other things to do around the city.

I have so many plans for this new year, I'm not going to let anything try and stop my progress. I'm still on a positive note and I'm trying to stay here.

Song Mood: Decode - Paramore (vampires=sex)

I Promise

Open my heart Give it to you Tell the whole world that I'm in love with you Whatever you want baby I'll do I know I don't want nobody else but you. . .
Tonight I just made the most important decision of my life, I chose love. And I never want to loose it again. I know now starts a hard journey to forever but God-willing, we'll make it. It's been 3 months, felt like forever. I thought I would loose 3 years in 3 months. I was scared, insecure, and unbelieving. This almost caused me to loose the person who is and will always be there for me regardless of anything. I'm so glad I made this decision. And I promise to always love him.

Everyone Makes Pointless New Years Resolutions, Time For A Change

Instead of making empty promises about what I want to do this year, every month I am going to set about 3-5 goals and aim to fulfill most of them before the month is over. The goals range from simple to difficult, but they will all lead towards a better year and life for myself.

January's List

• Blog at least once a week including pictures or video
• Obtain a steady job
• Start getting body healthy
• Write at least one poem
• Finish RA application